Using the Mentor Texts format, I have designed a lesson that addresses narrative writing craft.
Building Content Through Showing, Not Telling
Hook:
Use the mentor texts The Witches and Matilda by Roald Dahl to show character’s emotions and descriptions.
In The Witches, the main character reacts with fear when he discovers that the nice ladies on the other side of the screen are really witches. You can also reread the chapter “The Meeting” and chart all the words that show fear such as “My blood turned to ice. I began to shake all over,” (Dahl, 1983).
In Matilda, the headmistress of Matilda’s school, Miss Trunchbull, is a terrifying, disgusting bully. Roald Dahl does a wonderful job of describing Miss Trunchbull through showing her personality and appearance with colorful descriptions. “Looking at her, you got the feeling that this was someone who could bend iron bars and tear telephone directories in half,” (Dahl, 1998). You can add descriptions to your fear chart from The Witches.
Purpose: Writing by telling alone is boring. Authors try to balance telling with showing. One of the easiest things that authors can show is emotions or what a person looks like/acts like. Today we will find ways to reveal the emotions and descriptions of our character through showing instead of telling just Roald Dahl did.
Brainstorm: Students can brainstorm a list of emotions and descriptions that they can show, not tell. Emotions could be excitement, disappointment, sadness, frustration, surprise, and joy. Descriptions can connect to emotions such as happy in the way sunshine makes you feel, lonely like a single tree on a mountaintop, or frustrated when another person steals your idea in class.
Model: Ask the students to imagine other ways in which Roald Dahl could have shown fear of Miss Trunchbull in Matilda. This list could include such things as hands shaking, quiet students, kids running away, being rooted to the spot, or crying. Then choose another emotion, like the happiness associated with Miss Honey, and write a scene around it. Let the students guess what the emotion is based on the descriptions. Have them come to the board and underline the words or phrases that helped show that emotion. Here’s an example from my notebook that shows fear.
Miss Trunchbull pulled up to the school yard in her pitch black car. Several children ran as fast as they could in the other direction while others were rooted to the spot. Matilda’s hands started shaking and Billy and Maddie started crying as Miss Trunchbull approached. She screamed at the children to get out of her way as Sally whimpered quietly. Matilda turned pale when Miss Trunchbull passed, and let out a breath when the teacher was finally encased in the school walls.
Shared/Guided Writing: Choose another emotion, like happiness, and have the students brainstorm a list of nonverbal cues or actions for it, and then create a scene around the emotion in a shared writing experiences. It is best to choose something that centers around school so that all students can contribute. Matilda is an easy book to model from since much of the book does take place in school. Students can work in pairs in they are able to.
Independent Writing: Ask the students to return to a previous story in their writer’s notebook and revise it to reveal an emotion through description by showing instead of telling. They can also start a new story and try out the strategy to build content.
Reflection: Ask students to reflect on how this strategy worked for them.
How did adding details/descriptions to show an emotion rather than just tell it make your writing better?
What kinds of words/descriptions help you show an emotion?
When can you use this strategy?
Is it sometimes better to tell? When?
Ask students to find other examples as they read independently where authors have used the show, don’t tell strategy and copy them into their notebooks (Dorfman & Cappelli, 2001, p. 104-105).
References
Dorfman, L. R., & Cappelli, R. (2017). Mentor Texts: Teaching Writing through Children’s Literature, K-6 (2nd ed.). Portland, ME: Stenhouse.
Dahl, R. (1998). Matilda. New York, NY: Penguin Young Reader’s Group.
Dahl, R. (1983). The Witches. New York, NY: Penguin Young Reader’s Group.
Horton Who? 
Emily,
I really admire your choice of mentor texts! In my 6th grade inclusion classroom, words like “happy” and “sad” are “banned” from all written work. I like how this lesson teaches students to convey emotion without just coming out and saying it. I also really like the reflection question “Is it sometimes better to tell? When?”. I would be really interested to hear what students thought about this.
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My favorite part of your lesson is the way that you encourage teachers to create a shared writing experience that all students can be a part of. By suggesting that students contribute to a story about school, all the writers within the classroom will be able to provide contributions based on their own unique experiences. Personally, I think that the “show don’t tell” strategy is one of the best ways that we can encourage readers to add details to their writing, so I am really glad that you have chosen to include it as a part of your unit! Thanks for sharing with us!
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This is something I struggle with myself in my writing but want to improve. It is something I am going to look for as I read now so I can have plenty of mentor texts to help me teach this in my classroom. I think it is such a powerful strategy and can really improve a story. I thought about using this one as part of my unit but I didn’t feel comfortable enough yet to use try to teach it. I think I am going to practice it on a draft!
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